Okay, so the Pope finally died. That's probably for the better -- for all of us. How did you enjoy Pope Deathwatch 2005? Personally, it got a little old for me. I'm glad it's done with. And it's better for the Pope because he doesn't have to deal with all this poor health shit anymore. Plus he was dumb.

It's been a good week for Death. In addition to all the regular Joes Death has claimed recently, he had a hat trick with three high-profile deaths in a matter of only a few days. The Pope, Terri Schiavo, and Johnnie Cochran. I find it extra amusing that two of those three high-profile deaths were ones that the Christians really, really cared about. All that praying and other such nonsense, and they're gone. Where exactly is your god for you know, Christfuckers?

Now that the waiting for death phase is over in the Pope and Schiavo cases, we can all move on to the next phase of those abominations. It looks like the next several weeks are going to be a total load of bullshit pageantry for the Catholic Church, all leading up to the crowning of a new Pope. Then with the Schiavo ordeal, there's all the bullshit that we're going to have to put up with as a result of one person being allowed to finally die after 15 years of not really being alive.

Hopefully it won't be too long before the front page of CNN will be the normal, useless, crappy liberal media coverage I'm accustomed to reading and passing on to you people. No more updating the Pope's condition every six seconds. No more seeing that fucking picture of Terri Schiavo's mother kissing her or Terri Schiavo looking blankly into the camera. Look, I'm sorry, but I can only take so much of that. It's just not something I want to be looking at constantly. It's sad and all, but if I really wanted to see that much of that, I could just go to the produce section and stare at the cucumbers or something for awhile.

Look, I'm not totally insensitive to what went down there. Well, okay, I wasn[t insensitive (really), but I became pretty insensitive towards the parents there at the end. Obviously that's an awful thing for anyone to have to endure. But there was one day when it was looking pretty grim in terms of getting the tube re-inserted, and the dad said something to the effect of "Everyone who wanted my daughter to die is getting their wish." And it's like, fuck you, pal. No one wants her to die. I mean, well, we didn't want to want her to die, we just felt it was the most humane thing to do. But once you start saying bullshit like that, yeah, I kinda do want her to die.

I also liked all the "expert" discussion from people who said she wasn't in a persistent vegetative state, like Bill Frist who saw a video. Thanks, doc. Did anyone see pictures of her from before she suffered the brain damage? Compare those pictures to what we've been bombarded with for weeks, and tell me that there wasn't some serious goddamn damage there.

There are probably few if any things more awful for someone to have to go through than burying their child. But like I said above, Terri Schiavo's parents really pushed the limits of sympathy. Are you trying to keep her alive for her or for you? As was pointed out by someone on a local talk show, the parents had kinda lost it anyway. They always referred to "our child" or our little girl" or whatever -- for a 41-year-old woman. Doesn't seem like they were in the best state of mind over the whole affair, but I do suppose that's understandable.

In the end, though, it really is none of our business. For most of us, we just spouted our mouths off about it with no real harm done. Sure we look like assholes, but some of us are used to that already. Then there were all those dumb fuckers protesting in Washington and outside the hospice and wherever else. To those people, on either side of the debate, a hearty "fuck you." You people need to get lives, and this is coming from me. I remember seeing a picture of some guy completely unrelated to Terri Schiavo crying outside her hospice and it's like, man, kill yourself.

An extra big "fuck you" to congress, Democrats and Republicans alike. These dipshits went beyond mere commentary by getting involved, despite the fact that I don't know how many judges over the years had supposedly settled things. Democrats are getting it for not doing anything to even look like they were trying to stop this (as usual). Republicans are getting it for being pretty much the biggest hypocrites ever. What's the shit we always hear out of them? States rights! Sanctity of marriage! Except when we need to make some stupid point about Jesus. Fucking cocksuckers.