Okay, so I've mentioned the sex-advice column Savage Love before. I've even linked this particular column in the past. But since I don't make a habit of re-linking things around here, I'll go for it -- just this once. Hey, Dan Savage is on vacation, so this is what they're currently running. It's worth it, anyway, for... All of it. This particular set of letters was my first exposure to Savage Love many many years ago, and it was a helluva a way to start.

Yahoo search:

fuck up the vagina

I don't think it's possible to fuck the vagina up -- any more, that is. That thing is already too complicated.

ETP, if you remember Dane Cook's line about cow tongues, post it in a comment. I surely would have put it here if I knew it off the top of my head.

Yahoo search:

fucking while cutting hair

This is simultaneously the funniest and scariest thing I've heard recently. I mean, seriously, I never even thought of combining sex with haircutting, to say nothing of it being something one could get turned on over. I just don't tend to mix scissors with sex. This brings us to why it's a fightenting prospect, which speaks for itself.

So I've gotten quite a few hits in the past few days thanks to a link from this site. I figured it was worth a mention so that they can get one or two hits in exchange for the hundreds that they got me. I don't know about the quality of the 'blog since I'm too lazy to read it, but they do have this sub-page dedicated to naked women.

Search:

real wives who want to fuck

Well, if she's a real wife, then she doesn't want to fuck. From what I understand, that part of a woman dies when she gets married. If anyone cares to counter me, I think that BBC news is on.

Fuck you, asshole. I'll pay a 25% tax if someone sets up a site dedicated to sodomizing members of congress. You want money to fight child porn? Why don't you stop rubber-stamping worthless wars and use that money instead? I know, I know, it's not that simple. Well, it should be. Hey, if you want to stop child porn, just put me to work. Between the people who come to my weblog via search engines and the people I talk with on IRC -- many of whom, I'm guessing, have some bad shit on their hard drives -- I can probably be more effective in rounding people up than even Shaq.

My guess, though, is that they won't be too keen to hire someone who they're just waiting for to go and meet with a "girl" he met in a chat room. This would require me, of course, to both go back on my word (something I never do here) and walk into a trap of some sort, but damn, am I lonely. I'm sure the guys in prison will keep me company, though. No, if I went stupid and tried some shit like that, I'd just kill myself. And if I committed suicide, I'd make sure to do it like a man.

In some ways, I wish we could re-wind the 'Net back to 1995, when you actually could meet chicks online. Of course, the 'Net of old I'm talking about wasn't even the Internet, but good ol' BBSes. Hell yeah, motherfuckers, that was where it was at. You could not only meet girls, but you could meet ones that were actually hot. Sure, some (if not all) were kind of crazy, but they were the kind of crazy where they'd just break your heart and ruin your life, not the kind who would literally cut you into pieces and end your life.

Believe me, this is how it was back in the good ol' days. My hook up back then was a BBS called OneNet Boulder. It was via ONB that I met my first girlfriend. You're laughing? I'm not laughing. As alluded to above, she was indeed nuts, but she was also fucking hot. You're probably wanting to call "bullshit!" right now, but I wouldn't bullshit you guys like that. No, I bullshit you people in completely different ways, and you should know by now that I'm not prone to embellishing the details of my love life (or lack thereof, as it would be). If you still don't believe me just ask ETP. He'll back me up on this one, and he has good taste in women since I generally tend to agree with his choices. Oh, and you know that friend I mentioned in the coffee post? Met her the same way. Sure, I saw no hot action out of that relationship, but I did somehow manage to make a friend who has put up with my shit for a decade and still counting. Plus I have a really nice espresso machine now.

Alright, I know what your question is: "This girlfriend you had. You were what, 15 or 16 back then? So what was she, four?" No, shithead, things (both me and the online world) weren't as fucked up back then. You could meet non-killers and non-FBI types who were around your own age. Okay, she was about two years younger than me, but that's nowhere near bad. And if you're thinking that you have figured out some big pieces of Humbert's puzzle with the clues sprinkled throughout this post, you're probably right.

Okay, I've officially had it with all of the artificial drama over the space shuttle. Actually, I'd had it before the bloody thing even lifted off. Every day, it's some new bullshit where they're supposedly freaking out and saying "Oh no! Oh no! Will the shuttle be able to make it back safely? I CAN'T HANDLE THIS PRESSURE!!!!!" If you didn't know better, you really would think that the staff of mission control consists of Tweak and no one else. I'm just waiting for this headline on CNN: "Safety of shuttle's re-entry put in doubt after Discovery astronaut takes a space dump in his pants."

My favorite was last week when NASA "grounded" the shuttle fleet since some debris hit Discovery on lift-off. Because, you know, they were planning on another launch tomorrow, so it really does a lot to make this declaration. Maybe Tweak really is in charge, or maybe it's just bullshit PR.

At this point, I almost don't care if Discovery burns up like Columbia did. Okay, that's not entirely true -- I do have some feelings and sympathy. Feelings of hatred for the media and sympathy for myself, that is. You know the news people are just wetting themselves over the possibility of another shuttle burning up on re-entry. They feed off of this shit, and a "disaster" where all of seven people die is just what they need want at this point.

Look, people. I'm no expert on any of this, but we've had like 114 shuttle launches, and only two shuttles have been lost. We're taking these huge crafts and filling them with fuels whose job it is to launch said craft into outer fucking space. When you consider the risks involved, that's not a bad track record. I know that's no comfort to Challenger or Columbia, but still. Either NASA is decently good at shit, or they're decently lucky. And all this flap about debris and shit sticking out of the shuttle and blah blah blah? That happens with every goddamn shuttle launch, for Christ's fucking sake. It doesn't mean they're always immune from problems, but it doesn't mean certain doom, either. So shut the fuck up already.

That's... Really good coffee.

Pretension has reached new heights. Two weeks ago, I bought a stick of deodorant for $16. Sixteen dollars. For deodorant. Look, I've been struggling with deodorant decisions for months. I simply could not find one I'm happy with. No matter what I tried, everything would leave behind a white, flaky trail. And where would it leave it? Predominantly around the shifter and on the center console of my beloved Bimmer. I don't like it, when there's white flaky shit all over my shifter. So I tried various different brands to no avail. Yes, the car was influencing personal hygiene purchasing decisions. But still, personal hygiene standards had to be maintained. I was not only unhappy with the flaking situation, but I wasn't real thrilled with any of the deodorant scents out there, so I said fuck it; let's just get some Polo deodorant. I, of course, like rolling with The Power of the Horse™. I figured even if it makes a mess, at least I'll smell good. Because I'm going to get laid with green shit that comes out of a bottle.

You know what, though? Even if it's costly, it doesn't even flake off. The Horse is that good. I still don't understand why there are two separate products -- one a deodorant, the other an anti-perspirant. This is confusing since every commercial product has been both deodorant and anti-perspirant; I've never seen it as an either/or proposition. The bottom line is this: if you're willing to shell out good money for stuff, you're going to get fucked on top of it. Ha ha, you dumb fuck! You paid way too much for half a product! This is what the big time is all about.

However, this misadventure in not stinking doesn't compare to today's acquisition. As I said a few weeks back, I've been meaning to get a coffee maker for a long time. I have this friend who has been working at Starbucks since 1927, and I'm always telling her "Let me know when the really good coffee makers you guys sell go on sale." And every time they do go on sale, I'm like "Ehhhh... I really shouldn't be spending the money right now." I still shouldn't be spending the money, especially right now, but like with the deodorant I just said fuck it. And here's why.

Starbucks is phasing out their current top-of-the-line espresso maker, the Digital Italia, and coming out with something new. So the outgoing model is heavily discounted. On top of that, my friend gets a decent discount. So the DI, which sold for $1000, was available to me for less than $300. At that heavy of a discount, it's almost free. How could I pass that up? Especially since I'm not a big coffee drinker?

Well, I'd better be a big coffee drinker now, because I have the goddamn hardware to back up that title. Yes, I have a one-thousand dollar coffee robot sitting in my kitchen. And it is a robot. It grinds its own beans. It clicks and whirrs. It can be programmed. The top of it can be set to heat up in order to keep cups warm. It has a built-in milk steamer.

On top of that, my friend guided me to all sorts of accessories, like a milk thermometer and a milk steaming pitcher, along with all kinds of things like syrups and shit to add to the coffee. I have virtually no food in the house, but I have all kinds of crap for making coffee. Damn, do I ever have my priorities straight. But at least it does make good coffee. Once I got it hooked up, I immediately started testing it. I downed like four espresso shots as I was getting the settings right. A few hours later, I'd had the equivalent of eight espresso shots. One would think that I'd be bouncing off the walls by now, but I'm pretty immune to the effects of caffeine at this point, except under extreme circumstances. If I drink coffee that's too acidic or just too strong, it will upset my stomach. So yeah, I blew $300 for a machine that will make me nauseous. Like I said: priorities.

Back when I was in school, I worked for an optics group. No, we weren't a LensCrafters, I mean optics as in holography and lasers and shit. Anyway, the professor who led our group was a big coffee fanatic. Such a big coffee fanatic that we had a $500 espresso maker in our lab. Some mornings I would go in there, on an empty stomach, and down a double-shot to try and keep myself awake through my operating systems class. The end result being, of course, that I not only still fell asleep in class, but I got mad shakes by late morning and my stomach started eating itself.

The worst, though, was one night when I had put off doing a bunch of assignments, so I had five assignments -- including two papers -- due in the next 24 hours. So I stayed up all night in the Engineering Center in my office, downing espresso after espresso after quadruple espresso to keep awake. I got everything finished, but it wasn't pretty. Sometime around 2 or 3 AM, I was a fucking wreck. I was going out of my mind. Fidgety, unable to think straight, and just generally losing my shit. There have been times where I was blitzed out of my mind on alcohol but still more composed than I was that night on the bean.

The best product of this madness was one of the papers, which was for my bullshit psych class. I didn't care too much about it since it was extra credit, so I treated it as a sort of experiment. Kinda like a crime novel with no punctuation. But really, it was just a bunch of rambling nonsense. For some reason, I was writing about the Columbine massacre. I was ranting and raving, going through my enemies list... To this very day, I'm afraid to find the file and read what I wrote that night. No, I didn't actually lay out a manifesto to kill like Klebold and Harris did (seriously). I mean, I don't think I did, at least. It wasn't intentional if I did; no matter how fucked up I am, I'm not that fucked up, but holy hell did I drink a lot of coffee that night.

Alright, tangent over. But that's it. I'm a fucking moron, but I can make myself my own vanilla bullshit now. Except that I hate vanilla.

Why can't this "fitness for duty" claim be qualified with a written exam -- preferably one with a lot of essay questions, not just a bunch of multiple choice like a psych 101 exam -- as opposed to a purely physical one? Ostensibly the most important job in the world, and all you need is a physical for someone to say "Yup, he's good to go." I'm not saying that physical health isn't important for his position, but c'mon now. Where else can you get away with this? Pretty much just athletes, and we know how smart the general lot of them are.

If something serious really were wrong with Bush, do you think they'd tell us? Of course not -- this isn't the goddamn West Wing. And who really gives a shit what Dumbass's cholesterol level is, anyway?

Since I'm currently on board the Bitter Express on my way to Sad Sack Junction (as if I'm not already living there), I feel even more compelled than I normally would be to link this Diesel Sweeties comic from the past couple of days. Indie Rock Pete is a stupid dickhead (so unlike me), but I think I might have to adopt that slogan as one of my own.

Speaking of comics, there is nothing worse than Cardboard Tube Samurai.

When I first saw this article linked off Slashdot about a supposedly very realistic looking female android that some Japanese researchers had created, my first question, naturally, was what does it/she look like? After clicking over to the article, I'm like, that's not a bad looking robot, but I didn't expect it to look so... Old. On a relative scale, I mean. Seriously.

Anyway, when I read that they had created a life-like female robot, I'm thinking to myself, ten-to-one it looks like a 12-year-old. But once I see the picture, I'm like, what the fuck? This isn't the Japan I know. Look, I don't purport to be in tune with every facet of the Japanese or their culture, but we have a certain... Understanding on things. Especially when it comes to the nerdier element of their society, which robotics people certainly fall under. So the question remained: what the hell is going on here?

Before Repliee Q1, Professor Ishiguro developed Repliee R1 which had the appearance of a five-year-old Japanese girl.

There it is. Not only was one of their creations young-looking, as expected, but they even one-upped me by going into U-10 territory. Bravo! There's still no explanation as to why the second one was post-pubescent, but knowing that the first one looked like a five-year-old more than makes up for my disappointment and disorientation over their latest android.

Okay, I don't normally do this since I feel dirty when I explain the joke (and not a good kind of dirty, either), but you may be wondering what exactly "U-10" refers to. You can probably figure it out, but I'll be nice and help you today. You might also be asking, what, is this some kind of pedophile code? Well, um, basically. When it comes to Japanese models in magazines, photobooks, etc., they have these codes that are used to designate various age groups. The "U" is for "under" -- U-18, under 18, U-15, under 15, etc. Oh, and also, the "U" designation is inclusive, so U-18 (and so on) is both under 18 as well as 18 years old. We all know how good the Japanese are with English. But anyway, there you have it. Now if you're looking at some form of Japanese media involving models of some sort and you see "U-10," you know to quietly back away from it. I mean, unless if that's what you're into.

Alright, so back to the article. When I see things like this, it makes me think that I've missed my true calling in life. Maybe I should have gone into robotics and worked on the kind of stuff that those Japanese guys are working on. I'm probably not smart enough to succeed in the endeavor of creating a life-like female android, but I'd have mad motivation seeing as how I'm going to be alone until the end of time.

I know, I know. "Dude, a robot could never really love you or care for you. It wouldn't have the emotions or the blah blah blah..." Yeah, and how does that differ from how things are and will continue to be? Besides, if I did a good enough job in creating her, I might be able to fool even myself. Hey, I've convinced myself (or tried to convince myself) of some pretty stupid shit, so the idea of a robot being a suitable companion isn't a huge stretch at this point. Hey, not any dumber than acid wash.

One hundred gurr

So Fe has reached the 100,000 hit milestone. After more than two years in operation, we have hit this ostensibly impressive but ultimately meaningless number. Meaningless since, well, we know what has caused the vast majority of those hits. And not as impressive when you consider that, at one point, I was working to keep this thing up to date with a shitload of new posts every day. Meanwhile, the Sailor Schoolgirl site is way more popular even though I rarely update it (can't imagine why) and was able to get over 100,000 hits in a single day one time.

But you know what? I somehow beat the odds, and my 100,000th hit wasn't from some pedophile. Granted, it was still from Google, but from someone doing a search for "fuck blog." Which, by the way, I am #1 in the search results for! It's not much -- in fact, it's nothing -- but I'll take it.

Yahoo search:

fuck a frog

Okay, not even my dick is that small. I mean, unless if it's a pretty sizable frog.

Spam:

Blonde takes a meat load on her pussy

When they say "load," I can guess what it is that they're talking about, but still, all I can picture is some chick having a bunch of steaks or something dumped on her cooch.

Danny mentioned this short story by Chuck Palahniuk in comments a couple of days back, and since I went through the trouble of finding it, you have to read it. Hold off on reading it if you were planning on beating off anytime soon, though. I mean, unless if you need ideas. And if you actually do get any ideas, I won't be held responsible, but I will laugh at your dead and/or humiliated ass.

Then there's the site that I found the story on, which should probably also be avoided if you actually are epileptic.

Hey, I like to expand my horizons

Some fucking page powered by Google search:

broads with rods

I've never heard that one before, so it's worth mentioning.

Okay, so when I see this, my first reaction is, I hate my friends. Granted, they don't need to be taking out any billboards, but what have they done for me lately? I clearly cannot be bothered to get my shit together in order to find myself someone.

My second reaction is, I'm pretty cool with my friends. I mean, they're pragmatists. They know what the fuck's up -- especially the women. They all know that no woman wants a short, ugly guy with no confidence, a bad attitude, and a bad temper. For all I know, I smell bad, too, and no one will tell me about it until I have this conversation with someone in the SSRC:

"Did you fart?"
"No."
"Well then, you stink."

No, it wasn't me that that happened to, because even I would have taken a hint. What I'm getting at here, though, is that my friends are saving everyone a bunch of trouble and embarrassment.

Just so you don't think that I've personalized this and made the article all about me (I'm certainly not one of those assholes who takes unrelated events and somehow makes it all about them), I have some comments on the article. I don't know whether or not to leave the fact that this is a bunch of fucking Mormons out of it or not. On one hand, we like ripping on Mormons, but on the other hand, it's almost not as much fun. Stupid bullshit is as expected of them as fucked up shit is expected of Japan, so it's pretty much par for the course and just not as special when it happens.

"It kind of came out of discussions we had, that Lance is such a good guy but not married," said Morgan Lynch, CEO of LogoWorks, where Archibald is the director of marketing.

So why don't you marry him, cunt? Unless if you're already married, of course, you wedded cunt. But I'll bet this guy has a bunch of those "just want to be friends" friends who would never ride his Mormon meat. Bonus that Morgan, if unmarried, has the extra excuse that they work together -- added excuses are always handy.

But yeah, nothing sucks more than the "just want to be friends" line, does it, fellas? Well, except maybe finding out that a supposed friend who you have a huge crush on considers you "second rate garbage," as seen previously on Fe. Or hey, remember that MASH game that kids (mostly girls) would play? No, not the shitty ass fucking TV show with the most depressing theme song EVER. No, this was the game where each letter stood for something -- M for who you were going to marry, H for the kind of house you were going to live in, etc (what the fuck were A and S, anyway?). You picked like four or five things for each category, and wrote them down on paper so that one entry in each category could be randomly selected by an algorithm that also escapes me. The trick was that in each category, you had to make at lease one "bad choice." So for instance, under "H" you might list "shack" as your potential future dwelling. Anyway, it's also a lot of fun finding out that a bunch of your female friends were waxing nostalgic and decided to play a game of MASH, and that you got to be the "bad choice" under "M."

Yes, I know, this subject has gotten a lot of run on here lately, and I'm not happy about it, either. But it's for various reasons prevalent on my mind as of late. And hey, what's total bullshit mental anguish if you can't share it with four readers (if not fewer, especially after this brand of nonsense) and a bunch of Googling pedos? Hey, just be glad I'm not giving too many details at this juncture.

But since this isn't about me, go ahead and check out the website they set up for him. Go on, do it. It's really sad that "returned missionary" is apparently his #1 selling point. WTF? Do a lot of them not make it back or something? I'm sure they lose one or two every year to screen door allergies, but it's not like we hear a lot of stories about missionaries getting snatched by bears and shit. And I wonder: if my friends were to set up billboards and a website, would they list "loves kids" as one of my selling points? I know, I know -- the moratorium on those kinds of jokes is not going well, but the question is legit.

While we're back on the subject of this guy's friends, wow, what a pack of fucking losers. They have waaaay too goddamn much free time on their hands if they can actually make as concerted an effort as they obviously have. The people I roll with aren't real social animals or anything, but they do have shit to do in their own lives. I also love that all of "Team Lance" works for the same company as him. I'm guessing that their company isn't what one would call a "wild success." Of course, they are getting some publicity out of this, so that may reveal their true reasons for going through all this trouble.

So the moral of all this: much like owls, friends are assholes.

Google search:

Different ways for men to mastubate

Okay, I'm tired of getting hits like this one, so I'm going to do something about it in hopes that Google will start pointing people to this post. This won't stop the hits, but at least it might prove useful to someone. If you can't figure out how to beat off, or you have run out of new things to try, check out this site (find the "techniques" link once you get to the main page) or this site. If you're wondering why I happen to have links, uh, handy that are related to jerking off, you must be new here.

Here's one technique that many find amusing: get your hand to fall asleep and then beat off so that it feels like someone else is doing it. No, I've never tried that one, mainly since I can never get my hand to fall asleep on purpose.

Hey, so I just noticed that Blogger will let you upload images now. I don't know how long it's been since that has been an option; everytime I see shit about pictures on Blogger I figure it's either that Picasa nonsense or just something telling you how to link to images elsewhere on the web. And you know what?



Yeah, I pretty much just wanted to post that animated GIF. It was found on this amusing page which ETP alerted me to in comments after I posted a link to another page on that site. The rest of that guy's page also has a quite a bit of amusing shit on it.

So it looks like kindofcrap.com won't be making a return as I had once been led to believe. Word out on the street is that an untimely accident has permanently put an end to the dream of Galvin returning to our lives. I guess moving to Delaware wasn't such a hot idea after all.

No it isn't. Dorks are, by definition, dorks, which is not cool. Anyone convinced of this stupid bullshit is just lying to themselves like liberals/progressives and Trekkies/Trekkers. And for anyone who thinks they're clever by taking something and trying to turn it on its head by declaring it the opposite of what it is: STOP THAT.

Hey, I'm about as big of a dork as they come. I went out shopping for a house last year with one of my goals being to get a room specifically for The Girls who, for the uninitiated, are a collection of female anime figures. I see no problem with being a dork, but of course I would -- I'm a dork. There's no real shame in it, just the shame that others try and force on you. But just accept it -- don't bullshit yourself about it.

"We used to not be able to stand the fact that we were in orchestra..."

So if you don't like it, get out of it. And if you do like it, fuck what everyone else says. I know, easier said than done. It's not easy dealing with the pressure of stupid fuck-offs. But you do what you gotta do.

"The O.C.," a TV show popular with teens, has Seth, a comic-book loving nerd played by actor Adam Brody. Bands such as Weezer also feed off the dork image, complete with horn-rimmed glasses and a song about being OK with not fitting the Beverly Hills mold. "Napoleon Dynamite" has a fan club; its Web site claims 150,000 members.

Oh boy. One character on a shitty show (which I've never seen), one decent band (at least at one point), and one shitty movie (which I've also never seen), and suddenly, the tide is turning! Woo hoo! Or it's all just meaningless pop culture bullshit that's been fed to us.

"Now all the people from high school are asking me if I have a job for them. So I guess it wasn't so bad to be a dork."

Well, the dork part is never good in and of itself just for the shit you get because of it, but the fact that a lot of dorks grow up to make good lives for themselves while all those assholes who made fun of them serve them their food.

"It's like (the movie) 'American Pie' with the band geek girl."

Yeah, no. Geek girls are not Alyson Hannigan. And yes, I know that I'm being the shallow asshole now, but you pretty much don't want to go near most geek girls. Just like you don't want to go anywhere near a lot of geek guys. And should a girl with legitimate credentials show up, well...

But Uyen Mai says she knows how to spot a true geek, dork or nerd -- and she likes what she sees.

...

To prove her point, Mai has an "I (Heart) Dorks" tank top, which she wears often.

Wait for it...

"My husband ..."

And there you have it. Trust me, I've seen waaaay too fucking much of this. Any girl -- attractive or not -- who shows up will get mobbed by all the desperate guys who have low expectations and lowered standards. And if she is attractive, forget about it.

Liberals: quit thanking the troops for their service. If I hear one more liberal talking to a veteran or someone currently serving and says to them "I thank you for your service," I'm going to throw up. It's pandering. Period. Yes, it is possible for things to not be black and white and for someone to support the troops but not the war, but let's face facts. Those of us on the left -- and this includes myself -- in one way or another like seeing the body count go up in Iraq. What's bad for Bush is good for us. Admit it, fuckers. I will (finally, even though it does nothing). This of course doesn't apply to Ted Rall, who unless if he's recently changed tack has always been willing to say "Fuck the troops -- they're just doing Bush's dirty work."

More and more, I can't stand listening to either the left or the right. While this can appropriately be labeled as flip-flopping in many cases, I don't give a shit. It's still consistent with my long-established position of hating everyone, and more in line with the mantra of "fuck everything." The Karl Rove/Valerie Plame flap is further opening this wound. I realized this morning that liberals, ERRRR, progressives think that it's already an open-and-shut case that Karl Rove was the source of Plame's name or identity because Matt Cooper said that he told him as much. And it's like, slow down. Wasn't the whole issue how Bob Novak found out about it so that he could then report it in his column, thus balbbering it to the whole world? Democrats like Teddy Drunk accuse the administration of moving the goal posts -- and they certainly are; that's one of the things they're best at -- but Democrats are guilty of it, too.

Right now, the story is supposedly that Novak told Rove, not the other way around. Of course, this is just leaked grand jury testimony that may be inaccurate, and even if it's true Novak could be lying (pretty risky lying to a grand jury, but it might seem easier with a promise of "we'll protect you"). So I'm sorry, liberals, but you haven't won yet. Even if he didn't tell Rove but he did tell Cooper, that's still not good on Karl's behalf (especially if Rove told Cooper before Novak supposedly told him, but I don't have all of the timing down at this point). That makes Rove guilty of passing along information even if he wasn't the originator. Even so, the distinction between Rove leaking and Rove passing on gives them enough to muddy the waters to say that no wrong-doing has taken place, so don't celebrate yet, lefties.

On a mostly unrelated note, I realized something a few minutes ago. You know this whole nonsense with liberals calling themselves "progressives"? It's just like Trekkies when they started calling themselves "Trekkers." "Oh, ahhhh, people think that Trekkie means that you're a dork and a loser, so, uhhhh, we're going to call ourselves Trekkers. Yeah! That'll fix everything!" Self-labeling to try and de-stigmatize the label that everyone else gives you does not automatically make you cool and acceptable -- people still know what you are, and they will like you or hate you or not care based on that. Man, I wish I'd thought of this last summer so that I could have referred to the DNC as one big Star Trek convention.

How long has this been going on for now? Jesus, sometimes I wonder why we even bother putting on the charade that we live in a society run by law-abiding, honorable people. We've known since day one that if Karl Rove was responsible, that not a fucking thing would happen to him. Yeah, Bush is going to fire the guy who made his dumb ass president. The same goes for anyone else on Team Bush. The best anyone can hope for -- assuming that the leak came from inside the administration -- is for the person responsible to be found guilty the day Bush leaves office, only to be pardoned by the outgoing president.

I love how at this point, the only ones suffering are part of the so-called "liberal media." Regardless of who was responsible for the leak, this is turning into one big excuse to take a huge dump on the media. TB is good at this -- like with that whole 60 Minutes flap that went from being bad for Bush to bad for the media. I'm not saying that anyone is carefully orchestrating this, but it's not like anyone would be surprised if it was. And if that's the case, they're showing what truly evil fucks they are. Who's one of the people in trouble over this? Judith Miller from The New York Times. She was one of the ones who went along with the whole WMD bullshit in the lead-up to the Iraq war. It's like they're saying, hey, check out what we do with people who will agree with us -- the rest of you assholes can watch the fuck out because we'll find some way to ruin you. I know I'm stretching it pretty thin with the conspiracy theories here, but it's just a thought.

Right now, I'm just looking to be entertained since it's all bullshit anyway. I want to see it come out that Karl Rove was the one who leaked her name and that he did it intentionally for the sake of retaliation, just so that we can watch how the fucking genius gets himself out of it.

You know what people are fucking boring? Submissives. It seems really great in theory -- "Wait, I'm supposed to order you around, and you'll do anything I want you to, and you get off on that?" Yeah, it's great until you realize: you get stuck doing all the work. I mean in terms of coming up with shit to do; you have to do all of it. Look, I don't mind doing my share, but let's have some balance. Maybe dom/sub relationships are different (i.e., better) in real life, but on IRC, they suck. You catch me in the right mood, and I'm like, do this, this, and that, yank yank, squirt squirt. But usually it's like, you know what? Forget it.

Speaking of IRC, you should check out this post of ETP's. What does that have to do with IRC? Well, some people call it a really filthy joke, and some people just call it your average night in chatrooms.