I'll be more than happy to take care of your daughter, especially if she continues to wear those short shorts.

JB FTMFW!

Looking at some stats on traffic to this 'blog revealed this hilarity:


Actually, fuck that guy still -- he's a loser.

I only had to click the previous comic button twice at this webcomic to get to one on assfisting so it's probably a pretty solid one to be following.

Um, no dude. You forfeited because you're a fucking pussy and you were afraid you would get your ass kicked by a girl. Or maybe just afraid to touch a girl in the first place who you don't call Mom. Well I suppose you could call her "Mom" but then, man, that's just fucked up. Get some help and grow a fuckin' pair, wouldja?

"Even though there’s no specific Scripture that addresses wrestling with girls, there is the biblical Christian principle of treating women with respect and dignity...”

It never ceases to amaze me as to how many people who profess to believe in the Bible have apparently never actually read it. Actually, that's a lie -- I'm never astounded with these types. I know how they roll.

Must've been something they ate.

Jack

Here's my foray into advertising:


Also:

"You know what my drink is? Jack Daniel's. Yes, that is a wild man drink. That should come with bail money, you know what I'm saying? Because on Jack, you don't know where you're going to end up, but you know when you get there, you won't be wearing any pants."
- Dave Attell

Bonus for using 'recalcitrant,' I guess

Blogger's comment spam detection officially sucks shit:

Definitely you make out the game's basic structure, you can act Texas coop up 'em and ordered some of its variants. Texas Holdem is an tranquil distraction to learn, just recalcitrant to master. The "mastering" part is the costly somewhat by, requiring office and practice. This website offers lots of articles and tools to get you started on the studying. You can practice all you poverty destined for freed in online poker rooms.

What?

HURRR

OK, you gotta follow this one through. It is entitled "9 Hottest Girls who Play Videogames." Although it's not that exciting it's nerd fare and and the host in the vid is adorable. Towards the end of that link you gotta click another link to get to the top three. Make sure you click on that link.

You can do anything (as long as you have sound turned up)

This site is 12 years old. How is it that I just found out about it?

In a row

Hey, so check out the logo for search engine DuckDuckGo:


Is it just me, or does that duck look like the victim of some surprise buttsecks?

Reich on

So I used to post all kinds of awesome links on here but now I just post them on ETP's Failbook page. Well, I need to start getting some of them out here. This is one of the best I've found in the past several months: Hipster Hitler. It is even more brilliant than it sounds.

Another seriously awesome comic that makes me laugh as much as it makes me envious of the comic's genius is Toothpaste For Dinner.

Quandary

So mentioning my all-time dreamwoman list got me thinking. The top two, Sasha and Danica, are always pretty quick to come to mind. But I always have to think, who is on the list after that? And then I'm like, oh yeah, I'd have to say Selena Gomez and Vanessa Hudgens. After that I don't really know.

You'll notice a theme there -- petite, dark haired girls. They really are the best, celebs or otherwise. Give them light-colored eyes and freckles and glasses and that may be impossible to beat.

Considering I'm 5'3" in decent shoes my predilection for short women is not really a mystery. Really though it's partly a practical matter, and partly a matter that, at least in this case, smaller is just plain better. Why can't more of them be on board with that too?

Moving on, I never really cared all that much about hair color, well at least insofar as stupid notions like "gentlemen prefer blondes." As far as I've always been concerned, if the hair color looks good, then it really does not matter to me. But still, there's something about dark hair -- particularly straight-up black -- that really is just +1.

OK, so the whole purpose of this post, well initially anyway, was something I came across while thinking about the dreamwoman list. I did not remember exactly how tall Selena is (turns out 5'4" or 5'5"). Enter celebheights.com, a site which once again shows that no matter how trivial of info you seek, you can find it on the internet.

This got me going along another line of thought that is of immense gravity. In my mind, what was the best thing to come out of 1984: Sasha Cohen... Or the first Ghostbusters movie?

That really is a tough call. Sasha has been my #1 celebrity crush since the Salt Lake games. For those of you keeping score at home, yes, she was only 17 at the time, and no, I don't care what you think of that. Anyone who has been here from "back in the day" (sad that there was one of those with regards to this 'blog) knows my fascination with the younger set anyway. I'm not some fucking ChiMo; I'm not gonna be doing anything but looking, OK? And any straight guy who says he doesn't like to at least check out younger girls, even (especially?) of the underage variety, is a fucking liar. Again, most will be look but don't touch, and I really don't see a problem with that as long as dudes aren't total creepers about it.

What the fuck was I talking about? Oh yeah, 1984. Anyway, yeah, Sasha has been my fantasy for a long time, but man, Ghostbusters. That movie was a revelation for me. Easily my favorite movie of the 80s and one of the best of all time IMO. I was so enthralled by that movie that in 3rd grade I wrote a Ghostbusters story. Not some run-of-the-mill eight-year-old drivel, either. This story was a fucking magnum opus. It was thirteen pages. Handwritten. That's fucking War and Peace to a kid. In the story I was the fifth ghostbuster. I spent so much time crafting the story, honing it, that one quarter my teacher actually added comments on my report card that she was concerned that I was taking so much time on the story and not moving on to others. Well fuck her; good literature cannot be rushed.

I don't really have a resolution to this. Really I'm just glad that the world has both of them. I would almost say that the existence of things so sublime would almost make me believe that there is a benevolent god out there. But then I realize: I am not the fifth ghostbuster, and I am not having sex with Sasha Cohen. So fuck you, God who probably doesn't even exist.

Master of my domains

I used to have the domains bitterlittleman.com and bitterlittleman.net registered so that they would point to this 'blog. Well, when the domains were expiring back in like early May, I fucked up and failed to re-register before the deadline. I was under the impression that the domain names got scraped up by some other soulless cocksucker and that was that. Wasn't too big of a deal over the past several months due to my general apathy towards blogging.

Well, I just checked, and both were available and I was able to register them again. So from here on out in addition to the blogspot addy you can use www.bitterlittleman.com or www.bitterlittleman.net if you so desire (which you probably don't, so I just wasted $45, thanks dick). And yeah, some other asshole still owns fuckeverything.com so oh well to that.

Not that anyone cares (I could basically preface every post here with that, or, hell, just call the 'blog that if it wasn't even more emo than what I have), but I did the registration through GoDaddy. Really, that is the stupidest fucking name for, well, anything except maybe a site about incest, but it was the first to come to mind. Not because of the stupid name, but because of Danica Patrick, who is second on my all-time dreamwoman list just in case things don't pan out between me and Sasha Cohen. Yes, I fell prey to advertising, because I am a consumerist whore.

Why I am not a Christian, or anything else for that matter

The title of this post is with all due respect to Bertrand Russell, truly one of history's greatest badasses.

As I mentioned in a recent post I would like to try and push myself to write more often, in one way or another. I have been wanting to put the ideas spewed out below in writing somehow and I figured, hey, why not for a buncha strangers who aren't reading this anyway? I have no illusions about this being earth-shattering commentary or anything like that, but I just wanted to set it down for my own edification. I also wanted to try and interject more humour into this post before I put it out there and maybe I had some success there but either way fuck it. And yeah, I just went British on your ass.

Ever since I started this 'blog, Jesus, almost eight years ago? Anyway, yeah, ever since then (and well before for those who know me outside of this 'blog) it was pretty clear that I hate religion. But why, Bitter Little Man? What did religion ever do to you?

Sorry to report that there's nothing really juicy to report. I didn't have biblethumping parents who raised me on a strict diet of religion and bullshit (but I repeat myself). I didn't have it beaten into me, literally or figuratively, that I was a sinner and destined for Hell. I was not molested by a clergyman.

To clarify up front, I am what Richard Dawkins calls a de-facto atheist. At my core I am agnostic because I can flat out say: I don't know. But I live my life in a way that is consistent with there being no god, and I think the odds of there being a god are pretty slim. I could go into this further, but just do yourself a favor and go read The God Delusion by Dawkins because it is much more insightful than this drivel. But by all means, read the rest of this too; you've already invested too much to quit now!

Now, I didn't get my religious standing from reading Dawkins (in fact I only managed to get around to reading Delusion a few months back). I was raised mildly Christian. The most religious person in my family is my grandmother, and she was very influential to me growing up. She taught me to believe in God and Jesus (well they are the same really, but they're not... Christ what a mess) and the Bible. We didn't go to church regularly or anything, but I did have a basic belief in Christianity since that is what I was taught from a young age.

Once I got to be, oh around 15 I would suppose, I of course knew everything, as all teenagers do. In all seriousness though, I did at least know enough to know that there are a lot of religions out there. I mean a fuckload. Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, Zoroastrianism... The list is as endless as it is annoying. For the most part, they are all mutually incompatible, by design. If they weren't incompatible, there would have been some mergers and acquisitions along the way and we'd have a lot fewer of them.

Even discounting religions that are totally different in their fundamentals, how about the religions that have some common core beliefs (such as Jesus Christ being the lord and saviour of mankind) and they STILL can't fucking get along? Forget about any mergers, the history of many if not all religions is the splintering off into new factions when people can't bloody agree on the stupid set of ideas they want to believe in and how they want to go about executing their belief.

With all these religions -- many of them vastly different -- I also realized the simple notion that they of course can't ALL be right. Even though every one of them has decided that they are indeed correct and everyone else has it wrong. Aside from that notion, it further occurred to me that what if maybe -- just maybe -- none of them were right?

I would say that that was the first cornerstone of my religious undoing. But as I had already learned, and would continue to learn, religion has been pretty horrific to mankind over the years. More people have been killed in the name of god than for any other reason. So much shit has been perpetrated with religion as the underpinning. To wit: the Crusades, the Spanish Inquisition, the partition of India, the Holocaust, the Middle East situation for the past sixty years, the Middle East for a solid chunk of history prior, 9/11 (and 3/11 and 7/7 just so you don't think I'm all Ameri-centric), the oppression of women, discrimination against homosexuals... The list is long as it is depressing.

It may seem strange to some that I include things such as India and the Holocaust in there since those weren't Big Bad Religion going out there and fucking with someone, they were something terrible perpetrated on a group of people because of their religion. But that's exactly my point. What if people had no religious identities? How would the partition of India, truly one of history's greatest humanitarian disasters, have gone down if they didn't have Hindus and Muslims to separate? What group would Hitler have used as the scapegoat for Germany's problems?

Yes, I know that Hitler went after lots of other groups, but of course Jews were public enemy #1 for him. I further realize that people are persecuted for lots of other reasons besides religion, but religion is what we're discussing here so stop trying to change the subject, gorrammit. The point here is that without religion, there is one less gigantic reason for people to be killed or oppressed or just have to face unnecessary strife.

What's that you say? Not all people of faith perpetrate horrific crimes against others? Yeah I know. Much like specifically most Muslims are not terrorists, generally speaking most religious people are not major troublemakers. Sure, they may be annoying, hell VERY annoying lots of times, but hey, they aren't really bothering anyone and certainly not bringing questions of mortality into play (morality being another story). Still though, based on history, mankind clearly cannot keep its shit together when it comes to religion. A handful of miscreants have simply made the whole endeavour not worth it.

So the crimes of religion form the second cornerstone. Even if the myriad religions all thinking they have the answer (or final solution, you might say) to certain quandaries wasn't totally retarded, even if religion hadn't led to countless problems throughout history as well as the everyday lives of people, there still remains one reason why I despise religion: it discourages critical thought. You could easily argue that it requires you to suspend critical thought. And what takes the place of thinking about stuff? Blind faith.

Please note the critical modifier: blind. I don't do well with blind faith. Oh, I can have faith -- in myself, friends, family, co-workers, science. That faith isn't blind though; it is based on facts, experiences, experiments, etc. Maybe I can't guarantee some things or say that I know them with absolute 100% totally indestructible certainty, but I can say that for all practical purposes I know some things. I can have faith in another person, for instance, based on the experiences I have had with them, getting to know them as a person, etc. I can have faith in scientific knowledge because it is based on study and experimentation, peer review, etc. Sure, someone I thought I knew could turn out different from what I was expecting. Sure, science can be manipulated for politics or personal gain, and scientific knowledge evolves over time. That evolution is a huge part of my point, though -- by simply thinking about stuff, ideas we have, either individually or collectively, can change as new data becomes available.

Religion, by and large, does not really change much. Oh sure, every now and then the Pope decides to quit being an asshole over something, or in the face of disgustingly overwhelming evidence the Church has to change their stance on something, but that's not exactly the same as the progression of science. In the end, religion says, hey, don't think about this -- listen to what this old dude standing up in front of the congregation while wearing Liberace's Snuggie tells you and just believe because it is the word of God. Why is it the word of God? Because it just is! Jesus, were you not listening?

I'm not saying that everyone who is religious never thinks about their religion. There are plenty of people out there who question their faith, many who question it a lot. But if that questioning doesn't lead to the abandoning of religious belief, then it's all for naught.

OK His Bitterness, so you think everyone who holds religious beliefs is a ratard? This is one area that I struggle with a bit. I know, and am friends with, many very smart people who I like, respect, and admire, who are religious in one way or another. I don't automatically think that someone is stupid just for believing in god or whatever, but I do think that that one part of them is retarded. I seriously do have low regards for religious beliefs and practices. But I can still like a person who is religious just the same as I can like a person who roots for a sports team I hate. Granted, religion is a bigger deal to people than sports, but, wait, no it really isn't. That was the perfect thing to pick for comparison.

In the end, I do strongly believe in everyone's right to their own religious beliefs, and right to practice those beliefs, just so long as they aren't being a pain in the ass about it. Yeah it is hard to draw the line between "Well, OK" and "Knock it the fuck off" but I know it when I see it. And also, hey, what if I'm wrong about everything? I'm fully willing to admit that I could be. Let's just agree that I think your beliefs are dumb and you believe I'm going to Hell and we'll call it a day.

Alright, so that's it: too many religions that can't agree, too much ugly shit, and you have to stop thinking to believe in that nonsense. We don't need religion to be good and would be a lot better off without it. Maybe simply just putting out this concluding paragraph would have made for a cleaner post. Amen to that.

And there was much rejoicing

OK so someone left a pretty encouraging guestbook entry (thanks for that; and in case it wasn't obvious to everyone in addition to being just a plain lil' bitch I am also continually needing some kind of validation) I got my shit together and figured out how to get comments back. I used Haloscan comments because I just thought they were cleaner and simpler to use than Bloggers built-in commenter. I was also able to title it "Fuck everything: The Commenter."

Well, as mentioned previously, once Halsoscan went titsup I had to yank the Haloscan code out of the HTML for my 'blog page and I couldn't figure out how to get the Blogger comments in there. I've never had a real burning desire or need to learn HTML or any associated web coding but it actually turned out to be pretty simple when I just paid some fucking attention to the page where you edit the HTML which allows you to re-set the widgets without even having to do any code work. I'm glad I noticed that because I was about to start over using a totally new Blogger template and all of the ones available are shit.

Anyway, long story short, for anyone out there, comment to your heart's desire. Real posts to follow (?).

Page 38 'sup check

OK so what follows somewhere below is an incomplete post that I put together just over a year ago and never put out there. Yeah, I have a real problem putting out. Which is lame because I used to be such a blogging whore. Well, maybe it was only good for me, but fuck you, I was getting laid. Wait, what? No I wasn't, what the fuck is going on here?

Hey, sorry. I'm a bit out of tune. Anyway I was reading over this post that I had in drafts and it struck a chord in so many ways. First off, I'm still struggling with all this shit. Which is sad. I mean a year fucking later, really? And not like I haven't done this before at several points in life.

You know what that makes me? Days of Our Lives. Back in high school, I was fucking hooked on that show. My mom used to take late lunches to pick me up from school and when we got home she would watch it. At first I was like, soaps, fuck that. But then after awhile it just got in my brain and I was all like OMG Sammy is such a bitch when are John and Marlena just going to get back together Jack is hard-core and can't wait for him to take down Peter etc.

Freshman year of college we did not have cable TV in the dorms. Despite the fact that ETP and I bought an antenna that employed secret government technology the reception we got was shit. I recorded Days every day, however (on VHS; Jesus L. Christ I am fucking old now), and would watch it after classes. But the combo of truly awful reception and recording on century old technology finally got to me. Having to watch that shit through so much snow was rehab for me. I was off the drug.

Several years later, ETP and I took in an episode of Days on a whim. And you know what? Everything was exactly the fucking same. Sammy was still a scheming bitch, Bo and Hope were still having problems, so on and so forth. In the intervening several years we missed precisely nothing. Now, if you watch soaps, sorry, your stories, you know this concept to be true. You know that you can drop a show at any given point in time and find an arbitrary point in the future and start watching again and you know precisely what is going on. Seeing this in action though, knowing it from experience instead of merely just knowing it, is astounding.

So anyway, that's me. A year ago I was full of self-doubt. Afraid that what little talent I ever had, if any, was gone or at least severely diminished. But thinking maybe, just maybe, something's still there, and it can be resurrected one more time than Jesus was. A year ago I was stuck on this girl who is truly amazing on paper but maybe not so much in real life but maybe still is for real and so I'm still like come on this could work if the world would just stop being stupid but it's really me who's stupid. And a year later... Le sigh.

You can see that since I've been gone I've totally 'roided out my run-on sentence skills.

I'm a good writer. I enjoy writing. And my shit's funny. But what if it isn't? See there's that crap again. I really need to get back to just writing for the love of writing. Doing it for my own benefit. Who cares if people aren't on board? It's not for them. It's possible I could actually get my shit together.

The reason why I decided to put this post out there, including the old one, ultimately, was because I was going through all this pathetic self-doubt a year ago, saying I'm not funny anymore, blah blah. But then I read some of the stuff I wrote and I was like, dude, that was pretty funny. So if I was thinking that shit back then and was still able to mine some nuggets without realizing it, hey, why not now?

It's sad that I feel the need to clarify but I do: I am completely sober right now. Totally high on life, rah rah and shit. Well not really; I used to get high on life but I built up a tolerance (what is that from? LATER EDIT: It's from the awesome but sadly defunct webcomic Antiwang).

Maybe I'll fail to gain any traction here but I hafta start someplace. So without further ado, here is my mopey-ass shit from a year ago/right now. It's unedited from where I left it, and incomplete. But if we're gonna pick up with Sammy being a bitch, let's look back to when she was also a bitch:

Dammit. Every time I think I'm gonna get back into the swing of things here, I just don't. Laziness is the main culprit but let's do what so many of us tend to do and pretend it's more complicated than that.

Life really changed for me in 8th grade. Prior to that I was just me. I was a dork and I went about my business and that was just that. I think in 8th grade I really became self-aware and maybe that's not such a great thing. Maybe Patrick Swayze was onto something. For the uninitiated, that man simply was not self-aware. If you feel that it is pretty bush to talk this way about the dead, fuck you. I think you should speak the same of someone in death as you did in life. We are such pussies when it comes to that.

Sorry, that was a rant I didn't intend to get off on. And oh did I ever get off. Anyway...

Ever since 8th grade, I have been constantly concerned that I am not as good as I used to be. I always have this feeling that I used to be pretty smart and clever and funny and I'm just not as much so anymore. I'm also always concerned that I'm not good enough at that point in time as well. Basically, I'm just one big inferiority complex.

With regards to this 'blog though, I occasionally read back through old posts, and I find some really, really funny shit. And yeah OK, sure it's funny to me -- I fucking wrote it. But I read stuff and I'm like, yeah, I'm just not that funny anymore. And that's just with the average post; forget about the handful of posts that even I have to admit are just sheer fucking genius. I just can't be funny like that anymore because I have gotten stupider.

I used to have no real justification for my declining abilities but now I can come up with some legit ones. I am on the wrong side of 30 now. Six months sure but hey, the wrong side is the wrong side. It's just fact that we start to go downhill at some point. I am also continually terrified that years of drinking way too much have destroyed enough brain cells that, yeah, I am definitely stupider. Doesn't stop me from drinking anymore though, but well, what do you expect? I'm stupid now. Even stupider than before.

I try to remind myself of days past when I thought I was in trouble and I was just manufacturing nonsense. I also try to think about what Jim Rome used to say about John Daly -- the immensely talented golfer who basically threw all his shit away 'cause he had drinking and gambling and various other personal problems: you never lose the talent.

That of course presumes I ever had any talent. I dunno if I had any talent, but I could make some people laugh. People who I'd never even met before. That was pretty neat. But laziness and apathy and just the kind of atrophy that comes with time kinda killed all that off.

The only way to get back, or, shit, get anywhere, is to just quit whining and work at it.

OK so this is about the eight billionth post that I have made like this over the past year or so. In case if you're wondering, dude, where the fuck are those eight billion posts, well, most of them I wrote and never published. Or, I released them into the wild and then I pulled them not long thereafter. I may have already mentioned this but I am posting so infrequently these days that I can't remember what I did and didn't actually publish and leave out there.

Maybe one of these days I'll publish a compendium of all those phantom posts so that we can all see what my mental state has been like the past year. In case you are saying, um, no thanks, BLM, settle down. Just consider the following:

1. I haven't killed anyone else.
2. I haven't killed anyone else.

So how bad can it be?

Well pretty bad, really. Trite is the best word to describe it, 'cause most of it was about a girl. I wouldn't say it's Stabbing Westward-worthy material, but it was pretty weak. I'm mostly over it that I'm not making the efforts that I was making before, but I haven't totally let it go yet either. Gotta find some new stupid bullshit to focus on before that will happen.

OK if I'm not gonna be useful in any way then I guess I should post some links to some hot chicks or something. Which then makes me sorta useful. One thing I am a huge fan of is girls with freckles. Take a cute girl and add freckles and it's almost unbearably awesome. Oh so anyway, this.

You know what I'm talking about

Hey, how's it going? So I checked in here tonight and I saw that I haven't posted in over three months. How has the world survived?

So Haloscan, the commenting system I was using, went titsup several months back. They got picked up by some other service that wants money. So, fuck them, and fuck me, because I haven't yet bothered to really figure out how to just get my custom template to properly display Blogger comments. Anyway that's what's up on that front. Nobody cares.

Hey, some quick trivia: "Cradle of Love" by Billy Idol is the most awesomest song ever that is rendered completely lame whenever not found in video form. Yes, on its own the song is great -- but then you think, damn, why am I not watching the video.

OK so anyway tonight I was going through a bunch of whiny-ass posts where I was all maudlin about this girl who for some reason I still have a thing for even though she's been a fucking bitch to me. I've got a buncha posts related to that saga-slash-non-saga that I either A) never released into the wild or B) released and then pulled (out) because they were weak. Totally unrelated to that I was reminded of this: Mormons Exposed.

Ok so I originally linked it here. When I originally found that link it was just the calendar of hot Mormon meat. But now... "Hot Mormon Muffins... A Taste of Motherhood."

Wow, seriously? That is an impressive level of cheap innuendo. This is coming (cumming?) from a Grandmaster (bater?), nonetheless. And at the same time, just so, so sad.

The best part, though? Once I saw the "muffins" calendar, my first thought was: do they all have those teeth?

I'm calling bullshit. Over 70,000 exorcisms? Assuming he started at 20 that's over a thousand a year. That's like nearly three a day. Bitch, please.

Also, this if you missed it.

Is SNL getting funny again? That would be a welcome change after years and years of being piss poor. I saw an episode a couple weeks back and it was actually pretty hilarious. I hope that wasn't just a fluke but I have forgotten to watch since then.

Bitch.

Yes. Yes exactly.

Fucking weak. I know we have made a bit of progress on this front but I still really hate where we are at as a country on a lot of things. As far as I know there were no real issues with running the Focus on the Family ads, so there's a nice little double standard to add to the pile of crap.

OK so after saying I don't really care about the Olympics anymore here's two skating posts back to back. Hey, I do still like the sport, I just have less of a vested interest now. Anyway, this pseudo-controversy is completely missing the most important fact: ice dancing is retarded. Seriously, fuck that shit. All it is is pairs without any of the hard stuff. I like real figure skating, not ice dancing.

Also, fuck everyone. I am so tired of every single fucking group out there just waiting for a reason to bitch about how they're being offended. You know, sometimes the complaints are totally legit, OK? And furthermore everyone has a right to be pissed and express their opinion about whatever. But usually people just need to relax and shut the fuck up. Everyone really needs to stop being so proud of their culture or their art or their whatever 'cause guess what? It mostly all sucks anyway. So get over it and get over yourselves. Jesus.

Everyone out there just waiting for false persecution to befall them needs to take a huge lesson from Jewish comedians. I may think their religion is stupid, but I totally respect how they can have their beliefs and be serious in them but at the same time laugh about them and not take things too seriously. Let's follow that example, eh?

I know what you're thinking. What if those weak-ass ice dancers went out there in blackface? Well that's not gonna happen 'cause they know black people have guns and they can't get away with shit like that. No one is afraid Aborigines. I mean; please.

The question about blackface is actually a pretty good retort but for starters I couldn't resist throwing out some humor. Humor in somewhat poor taste, yeah, but I know some of you are laughing. And of course I'm just joking about the black people all having guns thing but that helps bring me to a broader point. The thing is, you know, I really don't see what the problem is with making jokes like I just did or laughing at jokes like that. Obviously I would think that because I'm an asshole trying to justify my behavior but just work with me here alright.

Aboriginal costumes or blackface or whatever I think it's all OK. Yeah it may be shitty and it may be racist and it may be coming from a very lousy part of a total asshole. But it's all free speech. The whole point behind free speech is allowing people to say something that you might not like. There's no point in protecting speech that doesn't bother anyone. Everyone talks a good game about how they may disagree with someone but they defend to their death their right to say it blah blah blah. Of course a lot of people don't fully believe that; they really wish there was a way to shut people up who disagree with them. And again, that's the whole point behind laws protecting free speech.

Plus in the end, the words or dance routines or whatever aren't really hurting anyone, are they? What if you just ignored stuff like that? Would it go away? Umm, yeah, actually it would in many cases. The only reason stuff like that is hurtful or offensive is because people allow it to be. Words are just words until you let them be more, and if we all just stopped caring about shit like that our lives would be a lot more pleasant. Let the morons be morons and eventually they're just gonna go away anyway. Until those morons are making laws that truly are offensive then just let it go. It's when it comes to real actions that oppress people and take away their rights that I think shit's a problem. That's when people need to be up in arms and getting pissed.

Oh and one more thing. A lot of people who bitch about stuff like this dumbass ice dancing thing aren't really offended, they're just looking for attention. They just want some kind of excuse to run their mouths and let everyone know about their ultra-important opinions. These are some of the finest assholes we have amongst us, and they too need to just shut the fuck up.

I realize that I've said repeatedly that people need to shut the fuck up in one paragraph while in the very next I'm also talking up a good game about free speech rights. The thing is, I really do believe that people have every right to be douchebags and spew their opinions, but it would be so awesome if they could just put their efforts elsewhere towards something more worthwhile. Yes, this of course goes for me too. When I say people should stop talking what I am really trying to get at is that we all just need to relax more and follow the lead of our Jew comic brothers and sisters.

I think the best way to sum up my feelings here is to borrow some words of wisdom from ShitMyDadSays:

"Don't ever say stuff just because you think you should. That's the definition of an asshole."

Well, fuck. At least I don't really have to care about the Olympics anymore. Sure there is gonna be some stuff that interests me but it's just not gonna be the same.

This is pretty amusing: ShitMyDadSays. As described by the guy who runs that feed:

"I'm 29. I live with my 74-year-old dad. He is awesome. I just write down shit that he says"

Also available on Failbook if you have such leanings.