There's the old maxim that "there's nothing quite like the first time." Well, one of those special "first times" for me was the first time I read The Onion. What, you thought I was gonna tell you some awful sex story from my past? Ha ha, keep in mind who you're dealing with. Actually, this leads to some sex stories, but none of mine.

I can only remember two things: the McDonald's article where they talked about the good ol' days when the food chain was into "hardcore shit like the McLean Deluxe" and the Savage Love sex advice column.

That installment of Savage Love has become legendary, and I managed to track it down here. Anyone familiar with Savage Love knows what to expect, but for anyone unfamiliar, it's a no-holds-barred sex advice column that doesn't care if you're offended, and as such, doesn't pull its punches.