Apparently, I am the #1 source (according to Google) for "most offensive joke." Unfortunately, the link to offensive jokes from my April 22nd post on the subject is broken. So, I'll go ahead and add in a few of the most offensive jokes I've ever heard for anyone who comes looking in the future. I didn't make any of these up myself because I am neither this clever nor this sick (well, okay, maybe the sick part).

What's long and hard and fucks old people? Osteoporosis.

What's 18 inches long and makes women scream all night? Crib death.

My girlfriend accused me of being a pedophile the other day, and all I could do was look at her and say "That's an awful big word for an 11-year-old."