After all these years, Castro's stand-up act just keeps getting better and better.

Seriously, Fidel, you're not going to die with a gun in hand when the Americans invade. You're just going to die. Once that happens, in 2138, then we might start taking serious actions with regards to Cuba.

You have to hand it to Castro, though. He really is a tough old motherfucker to still be around after all these years. How many US presidents have come and gone while he remained El Comandante? Impressive shit. Regardless of what he's ranting about nowadays, we pretty much just gave up on trying to kill him. That's as high a compliment as you're going to receive from us.

Oh, and while we're at it, kill the Cubans.