Apparently, Ann Gerhart wants to paint a picture of the Bush twins as these horrible, awful little whores. Well, that may be an accurate portrait, but I don't see what the big deal is or where the surprise comes in. You won't often hear me coming out in defense of members the Bush family, even if that defense does sound strangely like criticism, but here we go.

Okay, first off is the basic case being made that Jenna and Barbara are spoiled brats. Gee, you wouldn't expect that coming from a rich family. Christ, my parents and grandparents were far from rich, and they spoiled me rotten. Some parents spoil their kids, others don't. It's oftentimes helped along when those parents are fucking loaded.

Next up is all the drinking and partying. Teenage and college-age girls going out drinking and partying. I've never heard of that before. Lighten up, everyone, this is just what fucking kids do. Sure, it's not exactly the healthiest way to live, but it's actually pretty fucking normal. That's part of what your teens and twenties are for: fucking around. Hell, I can recognize this as normal behavior, despite being the world's biggest square who never went to a frat party despite making it all the way through college.

As a side note, the notion that Jenna called her father, the recovered alcoholic, to complain that her Secret Service bodyguards were "interfering" with her drinking is just fucking HILLARIOUS.

Finally, there's the fact that the girls are generally uncomfortable with being in the limelight. Despite never having been under public scrutiny like this, I think I can still understand it. I mean, who the hell would want to have this thrust upon them when they're in their teens or twenties? They didn't ask for this. Their daddy just decided that he wanted to play president (or, more appropriately, someone decided for him, Mr. "I never really was that worried about the career path"). In addition to having to deal with all the regular nonsense of growing up, they've gotta do it with the Secret Service watching their every move? Talk about a buzz kill.

As one more side note, I'm feeling real good about the secret service, what with their not thinking ahead to get one of those automatic toll passes and losing the President's daughter for FOUR FUCKING HOURS.

So of course, people are like "Well, Chelsea handled things much better than the Bush girls." Yeah, no shit she did. She handled it remarkably well, especially considering all of the vicious shit she had to take. But you know what? That's Chelsea. I find no surprise in the fact that Chelsea was smart about things, even when she fucked up, considering her parents are bright fucking people who know how to keep their shit together. Jenna and Barbara's parents are a former alcoholic who's still a dumbass and, well, an idiot. So it's no surprise that they turned out drunken idiots as well.

Furthermore, Chelsea's behavior and tendency to not treat people like shit is going to pay off for her. It already is. I suspect the Bush twins will also get theirs, whatever that may be.

Like I said, their behavior isn't model, it's just not unexpected. Take a look at their situation, factor in the age they're at, and throw into the mix one of their role-models - their cocaine-snorting, alcohol-addicted, frat boy fuck-up father - and it's pretty obvious how the Bush twins got to be the Bush twins. A lot of what they're doing isn't rebelling against their father and his position, they're just being kids. Just because their whole family is (supposedly) a bunch of model citizens who have dedicated their lives to making money public service doesn't mean they're going to choose the exact same path (of course, with all the debauchery, they are looking like they're on their dad's path). They'll probably get their shit together eventually. So to everyone, just fucking lighten up already.

Quick note to the Bush twins: if you are, in fact, rebelling against your father, having sex with me would really, really piss him off. Just a thought. I'm sure they'll be jumping at the chance seeing as how I called their father a dumbass, their mother an idiot, and them a pair of stupid drunks.