Here's a Google search I'm fucking tired of:

"How to mastubate"

We'll ignore the fact that they misspelled "masturbate." After all, the reason I always show up in these searches is because I once misspelled the word. No, what pisses me off is that it shows just how goddamn fucking lazy people are.

Actually, I just realized that this isn't exactly the search I get that pisses me off. A blue pacific margarita from Chili's will do that. Actually, the one that I get a lot is something like "best way to mastubate." THIS one pisses me off, and THIS one shows how fucking lazy people are, kids especially.

Best way to jerk off. You've got to be fucking kidding me. Why don't you just figure out what works best for you? How the fuck is Google supposed to know what's going to make you feel best? While you're at it, why don't you just ask Google for "the best food"? I'm sure it can figure out your personal preferences pretty easily.

Look, I know these are probably just some repressed 13-year-old boys who grew up in a good Christian family, but c'mon. You need to learn that there are just some things you need to learn on your own.